Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation where the intense emotions or behavior of another person in the space is making you uncomfortable. You may be on the bus with a stranger or in your home with your lover. Maybe the other person is angry, depressed, or irritable or they may be causing an unwelcome distraction with their intensity in other ways. The best thing to do is leave, but sometimes and you can’t leave.
There is something that you can do. It’s all about boundaries.
When someone is hooking our attention, we are offering them some of our energy. With every interaction there is the potential for an uneven energetic exchange. A great example is the situation where you are called up on the phone by a friend or family member and they completely dominate the conversation with complaining intensely about something going on in their life. This goes on for length and then, without allowing you to get a word in, they end the call. How do you feel then? Drained.
How do we have good boundaries? Here are some techniques that I have used and would like to share with you.
- Take a deep breath. Often when we are getting hooked, we need to remind ourselves to breathe deeply.
- Remain grounded. Breathe in and out through your feet. Wiggle your toes. See yourself as a tree with your roots digging deeply into the earth. If you can, remove your shoes. Even better, place your bare feet on the dirt and grass. If you are grounded, you will not get hooked.
- Be aware of your boundary. This can be accomplished by visualizing yourself in an egg or bubble. More important than visualizing is acknowledging and trusting that your boundary is there. Then acknowledge that the other person has a boundary and the space in between
Again, the best way to conserve your energy is to remove yourself from the situation. This is especially the case if the situation is beyond a mere irritation to where you are unsafe. You are responsible for yourself.
I encourage you to practice having good boundaries in all of your interactions: with strangers and with loved ones. As my Reiki Master Teacher Christine Patch-Lindsay says, “A dysfunctional family is one without good boundaries.”
If you use similar techniques, please share them by leaving a comment.
In harmony,
Rachel
